Isn't it Funny?

Well this is my first posting on here and I really don't know where to start. There are many things that boggle my mind and it will take time just to get a few of them out of my head. So with out much further ado, I believe I shall start with the first thing that popped into my head.

Recently, as in a little over a month ago, my girlfriend of a year and a half dumped me. Ever since that day I have had some resentment over the things that I did during the relationship. I really cant decide if all the money, time and effort that I put into the relationship was really worth it. I realize that now being almost 20 and a junior in college means that no longer am I looking solely for a good time with some hormones, but truly starting my search for a lifelong partner. The truth is that I was going to ask this particular girl to marry me in a few months time, and was prepared to make a promise to stay with her for the rest of my life. Now as naive as it sounds, I really thought I had found the one on my first real try. Now all of that aside I can't help but being really very cynical about relationships. Now I see that all the time and money and effort that I put in now seems to have no reward.

That is not to say that I resent my ex-girlfriend or that I feel my time with her was not well spent, its simply a matter of what returns I'm getting on that investment. The immediate rewards were obvious and very satisfying but now they are almost nonexistent simply because all I have of our time together is a few mementos and the memories. Now, as I said before, my question is was it worth it? Is the time you spend in failed or discontinued relationships worth the slim lasting rewards that you get from them? I really can't tell right now and I don't know if I ever will be able to.

Alfred Lord Tennyson said, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." and I think there is some truth in that statement. I believe the pure emotional and sexual experience I gained may have been worth the time and effort, but I still don't know if it was enough. It makes me question entering into another relationship in the off chance that this sort of thing would happen again. Its annoying and I really don't know what to do. Hopefully I will realize or learn something soon that helps me to understand.

Thank you for taking the time to read this first Musing of a Random Mind however uninteresting it was. Please have a wonderful day.